How To Tell If Your Child Is Adjusting Well Socially At School

As parents, we know that no matter the age of our children, we will always want to be aware of how they are doing to keep them safe while supporting their ventures and goals every step of the way. But what signs should we look out for to know how well they are socially adjusting at school?

Although some students come home eager to share the ins and outs of their school day, that is not always the case. So if you are looking to identify signs and behaviors that could give you an insight into your child’s school experience, here are three simple questions you can ask them to spark a healthy conversation and avoid them feeling interrogated. 

Ask: What was the highlight of your day?

Showing genuine interest goes a long way! By asking your child this non-judgemental and open-ended question, they will feel encouraged to highlight what they find exciting and enjoyable, like academics, after-school activities, or friend groups. Keep in mind that when children interact with their peers, they also learn social and problem-solving skills and can further develop their overall communication. It’s a win-win situation!

👍 Postive Signs: Your child is eager to talk about their teachers or specific friends, looks forward to joining clubs or teams, and might even be interested in engaging with peers outside the classroom.

⚠️ Concerning Signs: Your child frequently says they don’t have anything to share, shows disinterest in talking about their day, avoids mentioning friends or activities, or seems indifferent or withdrawn when discussing school.

Ask: How should we celebrate?

Small victories happen every day, and although we cannot have big celebrations for all of them, it’s good to let our children know they are acknowledged. Academic and social progress are great indicators that your child is socially adjusting at school. Maybe they made a new friend, advocated for themselves, or did well in a team project; celebrating these small milestones will make a nice difference in their daily routine and overall outlook.

👍 Signs: Your child is focused, seems relaxed going to and coming back from school, performs well in team projects or assignments, and is eager to share their achievements.

⚠️ Concerning Signs: Your child appears tense or anxious before school, doesn’t seem motivated to participate in group activities, and struggles with or avoids collaborative work. They may downplay accomplishments or seem overwhelmed by social or academic pressures.


Ask: Can we work as a team to make it better?

Certain conflicts are inevitable at any age; we’ve all been there! So offering support and ensuring your child knows you are on their team can be a confidence booster and positively impact their social development. Remember that encouraging and supporting your child’s academic performance is important, but guiding them to identify strategies, resources, and actions to overcome social challenges is just as essential for their success. Facing and overcoming obstacles is a valuable lesson that will help them throughout their lives.

👍 Signs: Your child can identify or understand behaviors and situations they could improve on, they accept feedback, and are able to face new experiences with a positive attitude. 

⚠️ Concerning Signs: Your child struggles to articulate what’s bothering them or refuses to talk about school problems. They may resist help, display frustration or defeat when discussing challenges, or seem increasingly isolated or upset by social interactions at school.

If you notice that your child is struggling with socially adjusting this semester, be empathetic, understanding, and be proactive to get them back on track. Oftentimes, struggling socially can lead to negative outcomes in their academics as well. By listening, encouraging them to advocate for themselves, and seeking professional assistance if needed, you will give them a valuable life lesson about not giving up and working towards reaching their goals.  

If they are struggling with socially adjusting, it might also be an indicator that their school is not the right fit. At Schola, we’re here to help! We offer tools for families all across the country to connect and enroll in the appropriate educational setting where their child can reach their highest social, academic, and personal potential in and out of the classroom. You can head to ScholaMatch™ to find the best schools in your area for you!


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